How to Become a Woman Read online

  Was it right to tell her? Was it right to just burst her bubble, that I was the same person as Derek? Maybe it was, but I also didn’t know if it would work out.

  The worst case scenario was that she would never speak to me again, and it would make the time we spent at the library a whole lot more awkward. If I waited, it would just blow up in my face, no matter what. She’d invite us both out, and that’s when it would be revealed, and then I’d be totally fucked. It’s better to come clean earlier rather than later, and as much as I hated to tell her, I knew that I needed to.

  Christ, this was going to suck, and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy, and the thought that this could be the end of us was a scary thought. But maybe, maybe it was for the best.

  Chapter 8

  I stayed silent all through the movie. It was pretty good, but I was totally distracted. When it was over, I walked with Elaine, and she turned to me, smiling.

  “By the way, is something wrong?” she asked me.

  I tensed. “Yeah. Let’s go get a drink. There is something that I want to tell you,” I admitted to her.

  She looked a bit upset, but then, I shook my head.

  “No, it’s nothing bad. It’s just… something that I think we should discuss,” I told her.

  She looked confused, but then, we went to the bar. I bought her a drink, and we sat in the corner.

  “So what’s up? You’ve been acting weird ever since I mentioned Derek? Are you jealous?” she said teasingly.

  That wasn’t it. It was something way bigger.

  “Not exactly. I want to tell you right now that I’m not the person you think that I am.”

  She looked completely dumbfounded, but then, I spoke.

  “I’ve had a crush on you for a lot longer. You’ve known me for longer than two dates and some messages we exchanged on Trumble. In fact, I’ve known you for quite a while. I’m really Derek,” I told her with a bit of a blush.

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” she asked me.

  I then sighed. “Well, I had a crush on you, but I knew it would never work out, since you’re a lesbian… and the other day, I found this crazy book that would help me act like a woman to get your attention. I tried it out, and it created a potion to turn me into a woman. So ‘Dana’ is really me, Derek. I’m really sorry that I hurt you like this, but I didn’t want to hold myself back. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if you hated me forever because of this, but I didn’t intend to hurt you, and I hope that you forgive me. I truly do,” I said.

  She looked at me with just a shocked and quiet expression for what seemed to be hours, but was really just several moments. Then, she sighed, turning to me and looking dead into my eyes.

  “Then prove it,” she said.

  “How?” I asked.

  “Tell me something,” she said.

  “Well, remember about three weeks ago when you freaked out because one of the interns put those fuzzy fake snakes in your candy box and when you opened it, they sprung out? That was something I remember. Plus, the other day we were joking about Old Bird and how she looked like she pecked all of her children,” I said.

  Old Bird was a woman that came in that was old and looked like a bird. It was an inside joke because she would always act mean and old. Dana wouldn’t know this, only Derek would. As I said those words though, Elaine looked at me with a soft smile. She seems amazed, and I started to feel confused.

  “That’s great,” she said, laughing at the words that came out of my mouth. Soon, she was doubling over laughing. I thought maybe someone spiked her drink or something.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Yes. So you became a woman so you could date a lesbian?”

  I nodded, really unsure of what to say. It was then she laughed once more, and that’s when I spoke.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked.

  “I’m bisexual, you idiot. You could have just asked me out on a date yourself. I would have said yes!”

  When I heard those words, I felt both shocked, and totally embarrassed. I couldn’t believe it. I could’ve just been honest the entire time.

  “I just thought that you were a lesbian because you would only talk about dating women, and not men,” I said.

  “I have dated men before, I just don’t really talk about it,” she replied.

  Holy shit I was an idiot. I couldn’t believe this. If I was honest at the onset, this whole mess wouldn’t have happened, and I could’ve just had a normal relationship with her.

  “Well then, I’m really sorry for what I did. I can’t believe this. I’m so sorry,” I muttered.

  She continued to laugh for a little bit before she spoke.

  “You know, what you did was really fucked up. Like I’m a pretty messed up person generally, but even I’m not that bad. But you know, I’m not mad at all,” she told me.

  “You’re not?” I asked with amazement.

  “Nah. You’re a great friend, and I did have a great time on both of the dates. Honestly, they were super fun, and I would totally do it again,” she said to me with a smile.

  I smiled back.

  “Great. I’m glad,” I said.

  “Yes. Now, I do want to continue this, but I do want to put down a rule. I will see you, but so long as we can agree on honestly from this point forward, I don’t see why we can’t stop seeing one another. But, you don’t have to be Dana. You can be Derek,” she said with a smile.

  I felt my heart soar. I couldn’t believe that I actually got to a third date with this woman. This was something that felt almost unreal. I’ve been waiting for this moment, and the fact that she was even giving me the time of day and providing this felt so… right really.

  “Thank you,” I told her. I smiled. I took her hands, squeezing them. “I’ll try to be as honest with you as I can from here on out.”

  “I know that you will. And next time, do come as a man. I want to go on a date with Derek. But, if that concoction that you have is still around, bring some, in case I want to have a little bit of fun with Dana,” she said with a wink.

  I blushed. I didn’t know that this form would be so exciting. It was then that I laughed, feeling completely chill and happy with myself.

  “Of course. I’ll make sure to,” I said.

  We spent the rest of the time together drinking a little bit and speaking. After I told her the truth, it just felt so right. We parted ways, and I knew that she was the one for me. The kiss she gave me before we parted was so intimate, so tender, it was almost like sex. My panties were immediately wet.

  Elaine seemed to totally understand, and while I knew what I had done was totally messed up, I was glad I did it. But I knew from here on out, it would be best to be honest, and I did want to try to be the most honest person that I could be, for her sake, and for my own as well.

  The next date would be a ton of fun, and I knew that no matter what the road may lead to, no matter what happens, as long as I’m honest with Elaine, about my gender, and about my feelings, that things will turn out okay for both of us, no matter what.

  The End

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  Excerpt:

  Trans Atlantic Flight

  Transgender Romance

&nbs
p; By Paula Spicer

  Chapter 1

  Will walked into the airport bar, deciding he could use a drink before his flight.

  He checked his wrist watch, then rearranged his bag over his shoulder. He had over an hour until his flight was even called. The only reason he made it so early was because he’d forgotten to adjust his alarm, so he woke up around the same time he usually went for work and couldn’t get back to sleep. He had nothing to do at home, so, for some reason, he thought hanging out at the airport would be better.

  But really, I’m just a different bored being here, he thought to himself and sighed.

  Already, he’d been waiting for his flight for a couple hours. It was closer now, but he’d been playing on his phone for part of that time, going through social media then playing some games. None of it was good enough to keep him interested for long, and he’d thought about sleeping, but even if he could, he didn’t want someone to pick up his stuff while he wasn’t paying attention.

  He glanced around the dimly lit room. The interior was made up in mostly dark colors, with the booths, tables and seats in black and red. Just walking inside, and he could forget he was waiting for a flight out of the country.

  It was still relatively early, so he wasn’t surprised that there weren’t a lot of people around. He rarely took a drink himself before getting on a plane. He didn’t get ill, or anything, to need the numbing effects of alcohol. But he’d already eaten, so there wasn’t really anywhere else for him to go besides the waiting room, and he’d had enough of people watching half an hour after he got bored of playing on his phone.

  Of course, he’d do the same at a bar, but at least he’d have something to do. He knew he had to get off his phone, anyway, because he didn’t want the battery to die before he even got on the plane. He had the bad habit of forgetting to charge it, and he’d been at the airport before realizing he hadn't carried his charger with him, anyway.

  I’ll have to buy one once I land. Stupid airport shop, not having a damn charger… if his luck was really bad, then he’d be off line for a few days.

  He tugged his luggage into the room, leaving it by a corner, and wondering where he could sit to keep an eye on it, just in case. Then, his eyes stopped at one side of the bar, and a grin lit up his face. There was a pretty woman sitting there, by herself, and he didn’t think twice before he walked over. He parted down the lapel of his suit and ran a hand through his hair.

  “Hey, there,” he said, trying to sound flirtatious. “What’s a pretty woman like you doing here by herself? And would you like some company?”

  She looked up, startled, when he first spoke. Now that he could see her properly, and not just her profile, she really was beautiful. Long, blonde hair, blue eyes and wide pink lips. Not to mention her curvaceous body.

  Now the only thing that would make this perfect, is if she were single.

  He was hopeful as the surprise faded from her eyes and a small smile crossed her face. Her words, however, killed that hope instantly.

  “I’m sorry. You seem like a nice guy, but I already have a boyfriend. I’m waiting for him to get here so we can get on our flight.” She even tagged on an apologetic smile that actually looked genuine, if only he hadn't looked into her eyes.

  Then she turned away, back to her drink, a very clear if silent dismissal.

  Will just stood there awkwardly for a moment, before looking around to make sure no one else noticed that humiliating display, and moved to the other side of the bar. He chose a stool and sat on it. The bartender was there a moment later, and by the look of sympathy he got, the man definitely noticed it.

  “What can I get for you, sir?” he asked.

  Will just sighed. “Whiskey, please. Make it a triple.”

  Just because he was rejected didn’t mean he’d get drunk and get on a plane.

  “Right away, sir.”

  The bartender left him to his thoughts, and he sighed again as he leaned against the bar.

  How many times has that been now? When was the last time I ever got a yes?

  Will could hardly remember. He’d been single for a few months, and his bad lack with women in bars hadn't changed ever since he got dumped by his last girlfriend. He tried everything—flirting, buying them drinks, even just talking. Every fucking time, they turned him down. One time, at this one bar, he wasn’t even trying to pick her up, just talk because he was bored and women didn’t talk to him.

  He got a flat rejection after a few words. She even got up and moved to a different side of the room. That, had left him very offended.

  Is something wrong with me? Is that why? Because this is getting too ridiculous.

  But then he shook his head. No! He couldn’t let himself think like that, or he’d never get out of his slump. The worst thing he could possibly do was get used to it. Maybe they just saw how desperate he was. He might have read somewhere about that being a turn off for most women.

  That should be it, he thought to himself, nodding. But can I really help it? I’m a guy! It’s been ages since all I had to get off was my right hand. Of course I’m going to get a little desperate.

  Will had been in and out of relationships for as long as he could remember. He was what people liked to call a serial monogamist; always in a relationship, and when it was over, jumping into another at the closest opportunity. He didn’t feel right unless he was in one. This was probably the longest he’d gone single, and he didn’t like it. Being single made him feel incomplete, as ridiculous as it sounded, like he was missing something. And he knew what he was missing, but still couldn’t have it.

  “Can't do anything about it, though,” he muttered to himself.

  The bartender got back with his drink, and he threw it back in a gulp. It burned going down his throat, but this was hardly the first time he’d done it. He savored the burn. The bartender arched an eyebrow, and Will waved a careless hand at him as he set the glass down.

  “Some orange juice,” he ordered. “Please, if you have it.”

  He received another nod. The juice came faster, and he sipped on it slowly.

  Where did things go wrong…?

  It was a thought he had after every break up, though the last one certainly did a number on him.

  Jen, his last girlfriend, broke up with him because she fell in love with some guy at work. Well, in a way, it was better than the ones that came before it, because they just fell out of love, and there was no more reason to keep the relationship going. The break ups were amicable. At least she had a good reason other than ‘I just don’t feel the spark anymore’ or other bullshit like that.

  Those were bad. Jen, though… she was the first person to leave him because she decided she loved someone else more than she did him, and that was more heartbreaking than anything else.

  He loved her, and now, he wanted nothing more than to move on, to feel better. To forget about her like he’d never even met her. But he couldn’t seem to manage it. He couldn’t even seem to get a one-night-stand going, and he had been fucking trying since she left him.

  Well, whatever, he thought to himself. I just have to put it out of my mind. Something will happen when it happens.

  He was just getting impatient, wanting something to happen soon and quickly.

  Will finished his drink and made the payment, then headed off to find his gate for his flight to Norway with his luggage in tow. He was going to a conference for business, one he’d been invited to. He had a few of those every year and always in different countries. Just maybe, he might meet someone there. He hoped so.

  Chapter 2

  He got on the plane and found his seat, then settled himself down. He was in the business class section of the plane, so the seats were fairly comfortable, and lucky for him, it was all paid for by the hosts of the conference. He was in the aisle seat, and his neighbor had already laid down to sleep, so it would probably be a long, boring flight.

  He leaned back in his seat, and was about to close his eyes, when one of
the flight attendants caught his eyes. She was beautiful; dark brown hair pulled back in a bun at the back of her head, revealing her nape. The uniforms were fairly conservative, a simple white blouse with a scarf tied at the collar and a navy skirt that fell just above the knees with a slit at the side. It fit her well, though. She was on the slim side, but the uniform brought out the dip in her waist and the flare of her hips. And, when she turned around, the curve of her breasts.

  When she got to him, he looked up at her with a grin, hoping it looked more flirty than desperate.

  “Hey, there,” he said.

  She gave him a polite smile. “Is there anything I can get for you, sir?” she gestured at the cart she was pushing.

  Will glanced over it, already knowing the choices he had, and picked what he always did, eyes drifting up to meet the flight attendant’s.

  “I’ll have the gin and tonic, please.” He tilted his head a little, eyebrow arched. “I’d also like to know if I can buy you a drink?”

  Her eyes widened, and if he didn’t know better, he’d think she was surprised. Why, though? She was attractive, he couldn’t think he was the first person to hit on her. But then she suddenly smiled more genuinely and giggled, and it was his turn to widen his eyes.

  “That’s nice of you,” she said, placing a hand on his arm, before quickly withdrawing it. “But I’m afraid I can't drink while I’m working.”

  Whoa.

  He was tempted to look down at his arm, right where she’d touched him, but he’d had enough humiliation for one day. Still, he could practically feel the heat of her palm, and he suddenly wished he’d gone with a shirt sleeved shirt for the flight, instead of putting on a full suit.

  But that response had to have been practiced. She probably got it a lot, and she was just acting to make him feel better for rejecting his offer. He couldn’t even feel bad, she was so good at it, because he didn’t feel rejected at all.

  She served him his drink, then moved on to the next passenger. Will watched her go, until she moved behind his seat. Even then, he was tempted to look behind him just to see her, damn whoever else would notice. But he had some self-control.